The Adventures of Double-barrelled
Scatter Gun O'Sea
A Novella for Students of
B U D
A Novella is a narrative a short prose fiction story, related to true or apparently so facts.
© Lazarian Wordsmith 2024
Cast of Characters
Double-barrelled Scatter-Gun O'Sea: A lecturer with almost 40 years Tenure of daydreaming about a bright future with her Frog Prince. But now-a-days, she would settle for a Toad!
I. A. M. Empty: A promising student who has been bullied to such a degree that his head, instead of being full of ideas and promise, is now empty. He is also deranged, in that he thinks life is fair and the good prevail.
Followers:
Peres
Prof
Council
E.X. Amos
Bud is the fictitious Bullying University Dublin
Scatter-Gun was ruminating, while sitting on her Throne. Deeply engrossed in what she thought were the gems she taught.
She was totally oblivious to the sounds and the plopping delivery from her nethers of the Copperhead snakes nested there.
And since she had been smell-blind after all those years of sniffling and not using a handkerchief, able to sit there in the odours that were flooding into the street outside, and above her basement garret, causing passers-by to reek and vomit pavement pizzas.
"I will make them pay. I will make them paaay." She spluttered as a terrific groan travelled up while a terrific load passed down.
"How dare they produce Curriculum Vitae's that show what they did not learn from me. Do they think they - that they - attend University to become free thinkers."
Totally absorbed in her rage, she wiped between her bum-cheeks without any paper, and howled.
" I thought it was only supposed to sting after a Delly Curry, or maybe that was a Delhi Curry."
I must invest in a Bidet, she thought. This perching like a Green Parrot on the Wash Basin is dangerous unless you use both hands to wash.
"Ah! Crap! Crap! Someone lift me up."
But her cries echoed and echoed and echoed around the three flights of stairs, leading to her garret.
"I hafta to get a below stairs loo." She thought.
But her inner woman was chanting...I think. I think, I smell a stink. I think it's offa you!
Please note her thoughts betrayed what she thought was proper language and she reverted back to her native language. Gutter Speak.
End Episode 1
