Are Amazon or Goodreads or similar reviews worth the paper they are not written on?

Let's start with this – I do not do reviews – I'm a writer: not a reader who writes reviews.

I'm glad I have this rule, since most reviews that writers get enamoured with and then re-post on their websites, and other promotional forums that they value, are rubbish.

So when is a review really not worth bothering about?

Well let us start with:-

“I got a free copy of this book and although not asked decided to review it.”

Normally this is followed by the writer's bio, obviously supplied with the “Free” copy. So disregard this type of review, since it is about the information the writer supplied, not the story.

Then there is a glowing review and when you check the reviewing history of the poster, you find this review and the one for the “Girlie Magazine” or the four slice toaster and the curtains: all also sold on Amazon.

Friend and “Followers” reviews you can spot from a mile off. They are the ones with the worse style of writing. Usually they also call themselves writers, but they are not.

Reviews written without mention of the names of any of the characters in the book, or just the main character, are very suspect, as are reviews of scanned parts of the plot with an additional odd bit of the back cover blurb.

One solitary review of one book and no other ever – is obviously suspicious.

But the ones that get me are those reviews trumpeted on an author's website as from “Mr X reviewer from XYZ's X review  group” and author of 200 reviews. This review of their precious book means Mr. X is working for his next merit badge.

So in conclusion, I always wanted to conclude with a conclusion just like the best executive summaries I used to write and read.

Read a book because the author himself or herself has sold you on it with a good evocative title, a good blurb, and if it is being sold on Amazon or the like, that gives a Preview or a Look Inside feature, read those and decide for yourself.

If on the other hand the preview/look inside raises questions about the work, in terms of grammar, punctuation and maybe in some cases unsubstantiated CSI or NCIS action that is believable only in the authors mind, skip the wonderful opportunity offered to read their masterpiece.

Faró,Fadó - long long ago (in Ireland).

From "Brown Trout Street" - The Canal.

My memories of the canal are of a time when it was used by Odlum's Mills to transport grain and flour between their Mills at Dublin, Sallins and Portarlington. The large black canal boats were power driven although I have some memories of seeing horses pulling canal boats, where the horse and a man walked along the tow-path.

During the Emergency, when petrol was scarce, the canal was used to ferry turf from the bogs near the town to Dublin and to ferry the provisions for the town back down.

The canals also helped to build up the distribution and popularity of Guinness which from the turn of the century was transported from St. James's Gate Brewery by canal because in those days the porter was not a good traveller over roads. Rural areas would have a better pint if the brew could be transported under gentle conditions. Canals were ideal, because the brew was cushioned against bumps or knocks or rolling about. The porter was carried in wooden barrels which were filled through a hole at the top which was then bunged with a wooden plug. The tap for drawing off the drink was inserted into the barrel in place of the wooden plug which was knocked into the barrel.

These wooden barrels were returned to the brewery for cleaning which involved scouring out the inside of the barrel by flaying the wood with chains. Over a period of time this scouring increased the carrying capacity of the barrel. A new barrel would hold eighteen dozen half pint bottles, but a well washed barrel would hold twenty four dozen half pints. The boatmen knew this and would use selected barrels to draw off their Tilly – a word used for the extra drop of milk the door-to-door milk seller would add to the pint already poured into the jug. The result of this was that many farmers along the canal side exchanged vegetables or potatoes for porter with the Tilly Men. The publican who received the barrel with the regulation amount of Porter in it could have no real complaint with the brewery.

We used to go and watch the sunburned red faced men move the boats through the lock, or moor and unload at the Canal side storage depot. The locks were to me an ingenious device for lifting the boats up from the lower canal level to the higher level. The boats entered the lock through the big wooden gates and when the gates were closed water was let in through trap-doors in the gates which the keeper opened to flood the chamber and lift the boat.

The sight of the boat and men raising silently and without effort past the granite kerb stones that formed the top of the chamber was like some magic trick in the circus When boats were travelling down through the lock coming in at high tide and moving away at the low level the magic never appeared as awesome or amazing.