What it says, may not be what it was meant to say.

Now and then I get giggly, when I see notices in shops or on products.

Today I saw a “self assembly birdhouse”: wow I thought that's cool. Get the birds to do the job.

On a tin of fence paint it said “apply in two coats”: I thought it's too warm today to be painting the fence while wearing a sport coat and an overcoat.

I saw a sign in a butchers shop “Pet Mince”: I asked could I bring My Old Pet in to be minced. I added . “But the next time I'm in with ,my pet, the wife don't tell her I asked you to mince her up.

I talked to a man about insulation that goes in cavity walls in a house and he gave me a Brochure that said they would improve on poorly fitted insulation instilled in the early 80's.

The one that give me the biggest laugh is a notice on a box that says “Other side Up”. I thought a box had a top and a bottom and sides: so what do they want me to do? .

This weekend I'm invited to a “Surprise Party”. Does this mean, it's not going to be for me?

I get cross with “Crosswords” that do not have any cross words in the solutions or clues.