Broad Thoughts From A Home for the Bewildered

With thanks to:------Clifford T. Ward

I could not be a millionaire 'cause I have no money
I don't own a mansion, but The Revenue think I do.
But I might write a blog that makes you think, now that could be funny
And you could tell your friends everywhere you like it:- That you really do.

I heard that song on Steam Radio last week, Gaybo used call it that to make out he and it came from the steam age: well he was partly correct.

In my case it's steam radio because when I listen mostly it makes steam come out my ears.

Did you ever think that RTE Broadcasters have such a “Rent of Ability” that they can “Command” ridiculous fees and RTE give it, our money, to them. I would tell them to Hop it away with the Easter Bunny.

Marzipan seems to work two quarter days a week, for her €295,000: she denied it was only four hours. She said it took hours of research for her to provide the baloney she spouts e.g. “Helloo Dere”. It must have taken a lot of research to decide to use the phrase most often used by people who meet you and can't remember your name. Ah! Ah! Hello Dere.

In the interest of somewhat accurately quoting her she said the idea that she only worked four hours a week was “Baloney”.

Lightweight is getting: Whoa!, let's be accurate here. Lightweight's limited company Tuttle Productions is paid, I hope, invoiced bills for his service and will rake in €495,000. I'm wondering is that figure subject to VAT as it must be a Professional Fee for Services. Also if Lightweight/Tuttle is vat registered, and enabled to claim vat back on purchases. (As an aside the only Tuttle I have encountered was De Niro's character in the film Brazil: he was a renegade air conditioning specialist: go figure!)

As for Hoe Huffy and his company getting €300,000 for his “Services”, if I go there the steam coming out of my ears will fog up the screen, maybe even the room.

And on the line we have (reading from his screen) “Mary from Drim Na, who has four chil-rn and is married to Anto”.

“Hello Mary, where are ya from, are ya married with kids? Talk ta Joe.”

The RTE Statement also said it pays the top ten broadcasters €3 Million a year. Holy God as Miley used say: the Dáil and Senate is only costing us the tax payers a staggering overpayment of €31.7 Million a year, (11.7M expenses plus €20M salary) and there are a total of 226, TD's and Senators. That's only an average of €119,172 each a year. And they are telling us they "are running the country".  

To be continued........

A Guy Walks Into A Bar...Ouch!

A guy walks into a Bar and the barman says, Hello good morning. What will you have?

Well, says the guy that's very kind of you. I'll have a Guinness.

When he has finished that one the barman asks if he will have another one.

The guy says. You are so kind another Guinness. Please.

When he is finished he asks the barman where he could get a meal and the barman says

Why not eat here. I will get you beef and spuds, gravy and vegetables.

So the guy says you are so kind, then he scoffs the lot, and gets up to leave.

Hey hold on the barman says you haven't paid.

Why should I pay the guy says I didn't order anything you kindly offered the drink 

and the meal to me.

So the guy walks out.

A week later the same guy walks back into the pub and the barman shouts at him to get out.

Why asks the guy.

Because you were in here last week and drank two pints and had a meal and wouldn't pay.

You said I offered them to you.

I was never here before says the guy.

You were.

I wasn't.

Jees says the barman. You must have a double so.

You’re so kind says the guy. I'll have a double brandy!

Did Irish Revenue "Gild Their Lily" On LPT Penalties?

Over the past few weeks the Jackboot Spokespersons for The Irish Revenue Commissioners have been releasing press statements that they have new Super Powers under the LPT2012 Act and it's Amendments. The following is what was given to me in a query to revenue, who directed me to a web page where I got the following statement of what they claim they can instigate:-

● Mandatory deduction from 1 July 2013 from your employment income, occupational pension or

certain Government payments.

● Attachment of your bank account.

● Referral of the debt to a Sheriff or a Solicitor for collection.

● The withholding of any refund of other tax as payment against LPT due.

But in looking very carefully at the Act and the Amendments the legislation to invoke these draconian penalties is not evident.

So is it a case that I cannot read and comprehend English, even that drafted by Public Servants or is it that various pieces of “searching for text as specified” software is not finding the phrases and they are there hidden somewhere.

Or is it that Revenue taxed with quickly raising €250 Million in Property Tax to please their political master have decided to “Gild Their Lily” in hoping to achieve their goals?

What the Act is saying a person can:-

….elect(s) in a return to have the local property tax payable by the liable person deducted by his or her employer from his or her net emoluments,... agrees with the Revenue Commissioners that his or her employer deduct the local property tax contained in a Revenue assessment from his or her net emoluments.

The Act it seems also allows you to “opt out”... where a liable person notifies the Revenue Commissioners that he or she no longer wishes to have local property tax deducted from his or her net emoluments, the Revenue Commissioners shall direct the liable person’s employer not to make any further deductions from the liable person’s net emoluments.

So the Revenue Storm Troopers do not have the powers they claim to have and in addition are bound by the Act as follows:

….If you don’t send back the LPT Return form and your self assessment of your LPT liability, Revenue’s Estimate of your LPT liability will be collected using normal collection/enforcement options – deduction at source, sheriff, court action, attachment orders.

This is the usual, costly, time consuming, actions Revenue currently have to chase tax and VAT defaulters.

Have I told anyone else this? I did. I told RTE, TV3, Irish Times, Irish Independent (who replied and engaged with me), The Environment Ministers' Office, The Office of the Finance Minister.

Did any of them agreed with me ? 

No: all of them passed the buck! 

They said “Talk To Revenue”.