This is me being serious: it's not my new name, just a comment.

It's time to get serious – become a serious person that is.

So from now on I am a serious person.

I will no longer ask the Window's Help desk, who ring unannounced because there is a problem with my windows, when I have an Apple system, if they are bringing my meals on wheels? And inform them I don't like Zoup.

Then when the lady or gent, well abled – that's not what I mean! Well enabled to work or look for work, stops me in the street and asks if I can spare any cash? I will reply that no I can't but not to worry about me that I will be fine. This reply is prompted by an urban legend that lots of beggars are let loose on the streets of the capital in an organised scam to enrich their masters, usually a Godfather figure in the clan.

I won't get annoyed when a news reader says two men were shot, in the leg, in a gangland feud. This cracks me up – two men sharing the one leg! And what part of the city is gangland?

When someone, a “writer” on the Createspace Forums asks how long should a paragraph be? I will resist replying if you don't know that, wait 'til you get to a chapter end - never mind a bloomin' book ending.

“Are there any poets on here?” is another Forum Title I hate because they continue to post some song lyrics that could not be improved by the music of Mozart, or indeed Johnny Cash. (Could he sing? I don't think so, just drawled the lyric.)

Then there's the book aimed at pre-teens that is full of grammatical and punctuation errors, that was read by my friends who say its good, complete with the missing ' in what is meant to be it's.

Oh I could go on – but from now on I'm a serious person! I am, I am...am am am. (Raspberry Sound like Milligan.)