Another bit of nonsense - for the week that's in it - our police can't count Breath Tests carried out!

When Pal got back to the house. The Dishwasher had a message for him: he didn't have an answer phone. It was “Program Finished Please Empty”.

In the Kitchen The Gunship his DW - Dear Wife - she shopped in Brown Thomas, was waiting for him. She was tapping a large frying pan against her tie: she wore men's clothes, and he didn't think he was in for a fry-up.

“Where has Yous been? And whos was yous talking to?”

Jees, Pal thought she's talking like a gangster, and then he remembered her father, Big Al.

“No one.” Pal said.

“I heard yas!” The Gunship said.

Jees! thought Pal. Twenty five thousand grant-aided Euro's worth of wall insulation and triple glazed windows, and we were half-way down the garden and she still hears us!

“I wasn't speaking to anyone”

“Yous was.” The Gunship said.

“Wasn't” Pal said.

“Was.” The Gunship said again.

“Wasn't!”

“Wasn't!” The Gunship shouted.

“Was so, was so!” Pal screamed back.

“OK! OK! Just a badger.”

“I knew it! One of your buddy’s was down there.”

“No! A badger, a grunting prickly animal.”

“I knew it! It was your other squeeze....Polly.”

“No! IT WAS A REAL Badger, His name is Muscles.”

“Have you been at the Wacki Backi? An' Another Thing!”

Oh! No!, Pal thought - not another thing. Don't say AND ANOTHER THING. You always say that. If it was only one another thing, but it's always more.

“You have a message on your Batphone.”

“What's up? Is Gotham City in trouble again?”

Bam! Zap! Zow! Powie! Frozen Catfish! Pal woke up alone on the floor ten minutes later.

The Gunship Bismark was gone, only the scent of her lingered. He pinched his nose and screamed and his forehead was sore. He thought he was bleeding.

He looked in the mirror, The message The Gunship had left on his forehead was as clear as the squashed nose on his face. It read “Made in China”.