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Monday, 24 February 2014

A Banvillian Burlesque

With all the talk at present about Quirke by Banville/Black I decided to feature a story from my web site.
It tries to deal with the Banville comment that he writes Black with a "diminished vocabulary".
I wondered who got to use a particular word that might come up in conversation....

A Banvillian Burlesque: A Word in your shell-like. Like.

Litman sat and looked at the word: it was a nice word, looked well, was easy to spell, so versatile. A word he knew well: yet he had no idea, yet, how best to use it. It was too good, too great a word, to waste in a badly constructed sentence. Or even an excellent sentence, but in the wrong context. It was so frustrating - he almost, just almost, wished he had never decided to use the word. Perhaps if he had not written it into his notebook, then he would not have this conundrum. But now he could never mis-remember that this word had popped into his consciousness: at this critical time of day, in the fading brightness.

Scowling he leaned back, then bending forward and down, he looked at the word on his notebook page, first from the side: squinting. He then closed one eye, then the other, scratched his forehead with the ring-finger of his left hand then opened his eyes again, but the word had not moved or suggested itself, in any way, shape, or form, as an operative word to his brain: his literary brain.

Now hould on dere! A voice in his head intruded. Don't I get a say in the use of this wurd?

Get lost” Litman muttered through gritted teeth. Scowling as only Litman could. A world-class scowl. A milk curdling, ferocious, frozen faced, staring eyed, scowl.

No me boyo, you F-Off and leave this wurd for my Buke. After all I didn't ask you to write MY Bukes, 'twas you 'vented me with my - as you called it: “Diminished Vocabulary” to satisfy some kind of a need ya had to reach the masses. That was w'en ya got tired trying to ed-u-cate them.

I never wrote for the masses.”

Aye! Rite, and dat was the problem! Wasn't it?

Litman scowled again. “You can't have it! Find a word of your own.”

Armodeis considered this for a while. I have lots of wurds, but not one like dat wan, dere. I seen ya writ' it. It's a good wurd. It would work-in better in my story.

OK. If you are patient. I may, I said MAY, give it to you.”

Yea! After ya strangled it, to death. I want it now. De ya hear......

Concentrating on being Litman! Litman closed his thoughts: tried to shut Armodeis out and looked at the word again.

I have a sentence, Armodeis teased. A good one, too. Will I tell it to you?

No! No! I don't want to hear!” Litman screamed: covering his ears with his hands.

It's......it's......No! Give it to me and I'll show you. Armodeis teased again.

F-off.” Litman shouted then closing the notebook, he rose and left his dark-oak, Quercus born, writing desk.

That won't do any good. I will go with you: and now dat I know what dat wurd is, I can think of another use for dat wurd. Not another sentence, another use, another con-text. I could go on 'n' on 'n on abou' it. I could shell shock ya wit' wurds, dat in a nutshell would bring ye outa yer shell, so bad dat ye would be walkin' on eggshells around me, a shell of a man, living a shell of a life, in a shell of a personality, in yer aul' shell of a flat. Put dat in yer aul' existential isolation of the individual and smoke it. Dat's what ya would be withou' me Litman. And ya don't hafta even shellout for dat advice.

Pausing with the Anchor Hocking Wexford Claret wine glass in his left, pocket hand, and a tall vintage Anchor Hocking Wexford wine decanter, containing Claret, tilted delicately, in his dexterous writing hand: he halted the pour in mid-air, while he watched the evening sunlight, rainbow colours along the cubbyholed pantry doors, spilling in spirals from the ornate fanlight of the stained glass window, above the leaded mullion.

Then Litman , scowled again, and thought: to himself - this time. Jaysus. That was some shellacking.






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